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@bq
Probably because it never happens. :-)
I got the police round in double quick time when my bike was nicked, and they even did a drive-around looking for the thieves. After years of largely negative interactions with the boys in blue, these two were a credit to their profession. And I posted as such on the internet. Still didn't catch anyone though.
Real policemen have been told to stop calling PCSOs "plastic plods" and now call them "CHIMPS", which stands for "Cannot help in most police situations".