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@Richard_Cheese
err.. this is mildly off-topic, but Boris the Idiot is appearing on Any Questions (R4) next Friday at somewhere in London - King's College as far as I know.
You could turn up there and ask him (live on the radio) exactly what it is he is doing about things like bike theft/cyclist squashing...
Anyway good luck on getting your wheels back and giving the thief a good pasting.