• David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.
    Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".
    David: You're gay for saying that.
    Cal: I'm gay for saying that?
    David: You know how I know you're gay?
    Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
    David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
    Cal: You know how I know you're gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
    David: You know how I know that you're gay?
    Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.
    David: You know how I know you're gay?
    Cal: How?
    David: You like Coldplay.

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