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@mr_bojangles
JB Autoweld, available in Halfords (in the car section). Its a 2 pack epoxy type metal resin that sets as hard as nails and you can even drill and tap it. Make a mould out of the cardboard tube from a toilet roll and you can cast your own seat tube to the right size. Push the saddle rails into one end prior to setting as you will not have a clamp to hold it. Be careful to get the angle of the saddle correct as it won't be adjustable. Depending how long you want the post you may need the tube from some kitchen roll, and 2 or even 3 packs of JB Autoweld. If you can get to the Halfords in Dartford, ask for Leo Wanka, you may get a discount.
If you take as much notice of this as you have of every other piece of advice you've been offered you'll be fine.
Outta here,
Peace
Kurt