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@tom.
OK, second go, but with more in jokes.
With 1km to go, team Londonfgss are towards the back of the peloton and aren't looking good. GA2G is flagging because he can't spin, while Lebowski is still some where around La Rochelle. The only people left are tom., Hillbilly, Object, Hippy and Slaytanic.
A last attempt to regain some ground is made, with Hippy's amble frame provide a slipstream for the others to throw themselves out of. They go, but 500m from the line Kanye West leaps out of the crowd, trying to mug Slaytanic for his HHSB - Slaytanic keeps him at bay with his blackmetal hand, but is quickly left behind.
Tom., Object and Hillbilly start pulling forward as Chris Crash, Smallbrown Bike et al sit eating vegan food and shouting "pull a skid". Suddenly, Hillbilly swerves violently and tries to cut a support car in half using only his bike.
Object and Tom. pull away from the other teams, and it's one last sprint to the line to see who gets the yellow jersey. Object crashes into one of the posts supporting the finish line though, snapping his body. Again.
Tom. wins! Cue time travelling Bridget Bardot, etc. Tom. also punches a mime and teaches the country personal hygiene.