Njs Chain Tug To Giveaway Free!

I want it (having lost one), so here goes:

I'm bringing up the rear as I coming up to the Champs Elysee on my fix, when suddenly a mime jumps out with a mirror and a sack of cocaine. Suddenly, half the pro-teams stop for a cheeky bump, causing a pile up. The other pros then fly into a steroid induced rage and start fighting, with baguettes and strings of garlic flying left and right.

So I skid past them while doing a bar spin, crossing the finish line first. Then, a 24 year old Brigette Bardon suddenly steps out of a time machine, lezzes up with Audrey Tatou and suggests I join them.

I also get the yellow jersey (which is made by Rapha from all the puppies murdered as a result of people removing braze ons).

That's laid down an impressive marker. You're the one to beat sunshine. 8/10 Well done.