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@Skülly
My 'leave anywhere dork bike' has mudguards, a rack, a bell, but the best deterrent of all to thieves, along with having a www.blahblah.com paintjob, is the Made in Taiwan sticker on the headtube. I only wish it was a bit bigger.
Also I guess you could undo-until-almost-off the front axle bolts. Soon as they go over a bump and try to lift the forks a bit, they are very likely to eat some road.
Course, again, its only trying to stitch up a thief once they've done the deed, and you may forget about your sneaky trick after beer one night.