Black Rainbow Project needs your help!

That's what you would do if you were 'you'.
Please remember that when I rented this place I wasn't living alone. I was with my partner. I put everything I had into this place. Every penny I had from my own earnings, my family, and the amount I got from the BRP gofundme went to building my workshop, buying new machines etc with the intention of starting BRP properly again.
I took on a second job to allow me to fund the design and prototyping of the new bags without having to rely on the generosity of other people. At that point things were really starting to look up. I was motivated, and feeling more positive than I had in a long time.
It's unfortunate that literally a couple of weeks after starting the second job, lockdown was announced and I lost my main job with one week notice.
I lost my main source of income for six months, and even now I'm not back to my full hours.
I sold bikes, music equipment, all sorts of things in order to keep hold of the flat, because without it I would lose not only my home, but my workshop, and my hope too.
It wasn't an easy time for people then. I had no benefits, or furlough, or savings to fall back on.
If you have any kind of mental health issues it's important to have something to occupy your mind and be able to focus on. For me at the time this was BRP.
The reason my rent is so high now is because my relationship suffered as I suffered, and so I have been living alone since April. My outgoings doubled overnight. I have been working and fighting so hard all year because I can't fit everything I have here in a regular flat. This is a warehouse conversion. Very open layout. Which is specifically why I chose this space.
If I give it up I lose everything. I can't afford a separate flat and workshop. Flats of this size are now even more expensive than this one. I already renovated this place from top to bottom, and my workshop has been built from scratch to fit this space.
The thought of giving it all up, putting my workshop and studio into storage, and renting a regular single person flat, while property continues to increase in price around me has a worse effect on my mental state than working 2 jobs, six days a week to keep what I have already built up. I would still have to work just as many hours to try and save up enough money to rent a place big enough to fit my workshop in further down the line anyway. By which point the prices will be even higher.
Seeing this workshop every day, seeing what I have achieved, and seeing how hard I am prepared to work to keep it is what keeps me going. The hope that at some point I'll get my shit together and make it all work.
I understand that to you and others it might look like a waste of life, but believe me...to me it's saving my life.
I understand that other people see 'solutions', and all the things that 'they would do if they were me'...but my mind moves in its own way, at its own pace.
The fact that I'm still trying, still working hard, and haven't just accepted defeat makes me realise that in some ways I'm getting better.
Yes I have self harmed again recently. Yes I've had suicidal thoughts. But I haven't given up.
I still have enough of myself left to see a future, and that hasn't always been the case.
xxx