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I am also not a lawyer, I think you'll find you're missing the "fuck you" clause. Which states :
Following application of said punch, the receiver of the shitty opinion has a legal obligation to respond with "fuck you" no sooner than 3 seconds after said punch lands and no later than 7 seconds after punch lands.
AlexD
Chalfie
Too big (if you weigh more than 50kg you're fat, apparently), too tall, not cute, short hair, too red, too sweaty, boobs... And people don't see a problem with commenting on all these things to your face. It gets you down after a while.