• Come back when you have a housemate that wakes everyone up at 4am shouting “FUCK YOU, YA FUCKING CUNT!” and you think you’re being burgled, only to find them sat on their own, with a pile of cocaine in front of them, watching the live stream of Big Brother.

    I hated university.

  • If it's any consolation, I only got a 2:1.

    Mind you, I'm one of only two people who can say they've had a wank in your pants.

    So there's that.

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