LEL 2017 / London - Edinburgh - London Audax

Would like to share a few of the best people I came across at the control I was working at. First was a cross eyed American bloke, he stormed in to the control at warp speed, which considering the control was at 685km in and it was around 2am was a bit weird to start with. After he'd been scanned and stamped he proceeds to stay in the tight control area and get undressed. Whilst stripping all his wet clothes he starts to tell me about his ride so far.
"this is great really great have you seen Dunkirk I love it wet like that like a drowned rat lot of French people here too not seen any Germans maybe there are some maybe coming the other way...." my fellow volunteer who was German interjected this stream of consciousness with" I'm german" to which without catching breath he says "great that's great wars over have a lapel pin" and pulls a lapel pin from a bag of lapel pins and gives it to her. At this was at this point it became clear that this wasn't just lel based delirium, as he must have packed these lapel pins far in advance, so what was up with this guy?

"I'm bi-polar you know cool eh? Decided not to take my meds for a few weeks though it's going to really give me and edge I can feel it now got a great feeling about this night section do you think that rain makes you faster i think it makes me faster anyway must be my edge.... "

There we go....

"...... So yeah not taking meds except for blood pressure ones I'm not really very healthy on paper but I just feel GRRREEEAAATTTT (his best Tony the Tiger impression, which was very good) best take my other medication..... "

He then pulls out one of those days of the week pill boxes your granny has and empties two days worth of pills into his hand, probably about 10 pills in all, worried that this guy was going to have a heart attack for any number of reasons I asked if he meant to get that many pills out..

"yeah obviously i missed yesterday's pills I only take my pills at 11pm one night then 1am the next night it's great it really doubles effectiveness trust me but I can't drink my water don't trust it not for pills it's unlucky...."

He wonders off to the shoe area and I get on with other stuff as it's very busy and having stared into his brain for 5 minutes Im very tired. No sooner have I got back to work however when I hear a commotion, and sure enough my man is at the centre of it.

Tired randonneur:
"what the fuck are you doing mate?"

Tony the tiger:
"sorry broski my water is bad luck for pills just need a sip...."

He's stolen this guys bottles and is taking a sip from one, taking a pill, dropped that bottle and now sipping from the other to take another pill.

Placating tired randoneur and explaining to Tony that its not on to steal peoples bottles, but before I know it Tony has gone outside. Again, I don't really care as this wave of reality is too gnarly for me. Or so I thought, but I cannot help myself and poke my head out of the door. He's going along the rows taking a sip from a water bottle, taking a pill and moving on. He sees me looking, and shouts out "don't worry dude I'm done!"

He comes back in, puts his clothes back on, takes them off, and puts them back on again, all the while telling whichever poor bastard is waiting to have his card scanned and stamped about the chemical composition and benefits of his ridiculous neoprene gloves.

Finally he leaves. Then returns. He comes up to me and whispers "really wet out there bro lots of rain water some of the rain water isn't rain water though bro riddleme this riddle me that catch you in londres!" and he's gone. Thank fuck for that. As he rides off out the school, a mightily pissed off rider comes up to the control, and tells us that 'some monumental pick was pissing on bikes wheels against the wall and I must be tripping but i swear he was muttering a spell while doing it'.

Ride safe Tony.