• @bothwell I have noticed someone half leaning out a car towards a woman on a bike and made an effort to stop/cycle between them. I think at the time it disrupted/prevented the flow of whatever was going on. I didn't say anything so I guess it would look accidental but reading what you said should I?

    Also I know one of my friends when we went shopping for cycling and jogging clothing she was making a compromise between what she wanted and what she felt she could wear to be more bland or whatever and attract less attention while just tying to go about her everyday stuff. I'd imagine it's something lots of women do and yet I can't think of a single time ever a guy would need to do that. It took me a while after to think about it and understand how big of an issue it was for her.

  • making a compromise between what she wanted and what she felt she could wear to be more bland or whatever and attract less attention while just tying to go about her everyday stuff. I'd imagine it's something lots of women do and yet I can't think of a single time ever a guy would need to do that. It took me a while after to think about it and understand how big of an issue it was for her.

    oh totally, in theory i'm more than happy to tell bro after shitty bro on my commute to get fucked if they try something with me but i'd really just rather go about my day. i'm a pretty mild-mannered person most of the time, and it takes a lot of energy to feel threatened, humiliated, worried then angry, and then either ignore it or say something back. do guys like this feel like i'm "asking for it" or something?! it's not a compliment, it's an assertion of power and it's not cool.

    i bought a disgustingly rad cheap fluro frameset recently and almost swapped it with someone for a black one because i knew i'd be about a thousand percent more conspicuous and the thought of having to deal with more shitty comments or attention made me cringe/not want to ride it. but i spoke it through with a couple of (both male and female) cyclist friends and it basically boiled down to "fuck the haters, ride your bike". i've definitely bought clothing and cycling clothing on the same assumption as your friend.

    i think it's good that you noticed and acted on it when you saw that happening. what would you feel comfortable doing? or would it depend on how uncomfortable the woman in question was?

  • I didn't say anything so I guess it would look accidental but reading what you said should I?

    Totally depends on the situation and as lucyh says, your comfort levels. I think what you did was fine, and it'd also be fine to ask her if she was ok/make supportive noises after douchebro had driven off. But do be aware that some women will be rattled just by your asking them if they're alright after somebody else has done something scary. Adrenaline and all that. People doing the leaning out of the car thing in traffic is terrifying because you have no idea what they will do - leave you alone, grab your bars, chuck stuff at you, swerve at you. Another dude approaching afterwards can just make you think "oh fuck, what now" and not reassure at all. It sucks, but it's the fault of the douchebros who started it.

    In the specific situation you've described I, personally, wouldn't have said anything to the driver or the passenger in that car, because the risk of their getting aggro and trying to injure me for intervening would be too high on my risk calculation meter to warrant it. I would have no problem with accidentally-on-purpose getting in the way like you did.

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