• Sorry to wade in here with my man-bits and hijack the thread, but I’m keen to find out if there is anything practical and direct I can do about this as a man.

    This kind of thing scares the shit out of me as it’s totally invisible to me as a bloke. I can’t recall ever witnessing it directly (presumably because the creeps who perpetrate it tend to make sure their victim is isolated). It feels like some sort of guerilla war against people I love where I never see the enemy.

    Is there a solidarity campaign that guys can join? Would something cycle-specific be helpful or just too narrow?

    I don’t want this to come across as “don’t worry, a man has arrived to solve your lady-problems” but I feel like action from men must be pivotal to combatting the problem.

  • This kind of thing scares the shit out of me as it’s totally invisible to me as a bloke. I can’t recall ever witnessing it directly (presumably because the creeps who perpetrate it tend to make sure their victim is isolated). It feels like some sort of guerilla war against people I love where I never see the enemy.

    You are correct, and as you have identified, this makes helping in the moment difficult. It's even more difficult if we're talking about things that happen on bikes - the incident will be over quickly as everyone will probably be moving, and in the off-chance that you do find yourself a stationary bystander, if you're on a bike and the harasser is in a car or on foot, you'll be at a physical disadvantage if you get involved, and they're more likely to be aggressive towards you because cyclist. All the same, here are some bystander tips, some of which might help in various situations: http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/reso­urces/male-allies/bystander-tips/

    Obviously those tips all rely on your being a bystander to street harassment in the first place, and you're probably not going to be in that situation very often. Outside of those situations IMO all you can really do is believe and support women when they share these kind of stories with you, and work within your own (male) social circle to create a culture where acting like a threatening bellend is unacceptable. The importance of peer culture can't really be over-stated, as the only thing that will really help is wider culture change, and you can't be that on your own. You would need to perform this work this publicly and loudly (try not to speak for wimmins if they're around when you do it, though), and my god, it will be work, you better believe it. More reading material on that: http://www.shakesville.com/2009/08/crank­-it-up-to-11.html

  • also, i just want to say, any bits (man bits, lady bits, any other bits) are absolutely welcome to post here

About

Avatar for jimmy_james @jimmy_james started