London Fixed-gear and Single-speed

yeah, noisy brakes are cool, but works better at higher speeds mainly

It depends what you are looking for in a woman.

If there is a Station entrance/exit - bus stop / Concorde passing over then pedestrians are going to do something unpredictable . I was filtering through two lanes of traffic (Jamaica Rd) yesterday evening 'rush hour' near Bermondsey Tube Station and a woman on mobilephone walked out in front of me but I was moving slow enough to shout "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS ? EH ? and some muttered 'shit' . No one/nothing was hit.
When there are loads of pedestrians about ride as if you were on the pavement .

Tried riding though Asda to get some milk earlier. Fucking jaywalking numpty cunts everywhere. Had to dismount at the dairy aisle as they were all gawping at the reduced section and I couldn't pass.

I took a short-cut, riding through a local church on Sunday morning. Fucking priest gave me a filthy look as I skidded past the altar. I shouted, "Jesus Christ, way to make a man feel persecuted," right into his sanctimonious face, and then deliberately crashed into his pulpit and said, "here endeth the road safety lesson, you stupid fucking holy ped twat."

People seem to have lost all sense out there.

What was the denomination of said building?

I had Catholic in mind, but being ignorant of most thing religious, I've probably described some kind of hybrid establishment. God's in the detail, eh :/

Oh, that Lima...

Running totals.

Just making sure one religion is not being singled out more than any other.

Who or what was the priest fucking? Prosecution is in the detail.

I could take a (secularly) educated guess...

The priest was fucking rad to the power of sick.

You seem to be as 'down with the kids' as I had thought that he was...

I once puked on the altar during midnight mass. (Catholic). It was about a foot away from a representation of the baby jeebus.

I almost puked on gods cock. Now thats rad to the power of something.

Oh, that midnight mass...

Don't Satanists have some kind of midnight mass affair?

Don't know, should we infiltrate or just UTFG.

I believe the orange ones have it aswell, although I am forbidden from speaking to them so can not confirm.

That would be an ecumenical matter...

I always shout "OI..!!!!" at the top of my lungs at crowds of peds.

I've never hit one yet. But as Reeen points out, that's cos I'm too fucking slow.

ETA: Mind you, screw the speed - I'll have momentum on my side, that day I do hit one at full pelt.

The old bike that's just getting a lick of paint and some new 700C wheels is about to get fitted with the air-horn. That'll make the fuckers do the funny dance - ten feet in the air.

Schweeeet... ;-)

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...=STRK:MEWAX:IT

BANG ON, DOOD..!!! He he he

Seemed cheesy when I first got it. But I have to say... It gets results.

that's a penis pump right?

I'm glad its working out for you.

The would give one curly cock.

so i've heard..

I'm trying to turn it into a pig's cock.

It's the twenty minute long orgasms I strive for...

so today i had the chance to knock some pedestrians off once again. green light, peds crossing, cyclist coming, they ignore it, i chose a target and you know where this is going.

but according to other forum members, as i'm the wrongful mentally ill american tool, i decided to play their game. instead of trying to slalom around them, i slowed down to as much as humanly possible, slower than a circus monkey with a pulled muscle and no tires, and rode into the gap among them. i was so slow that they had obviously to stop and wait -- what in my opinion they should've done in first place.

results: lots of funny confused faces, no swearing/insults exchanged, no honking, and most importantly, no risk to anyone. if some stupid ipod watcher had decided to walk without looking, they'd have a large piece of metal to bump on, so i am happy.

appropriate? 99.9% not. pleasant? 110%.

You could have stopped!

i know :)
i just wanted some silly revenge and to piss them off a little.

I am the mentally ill american tool on this forum so I'm afraid that you'll have to go reinvent your forum persona. That one is taken.

Peds don't include bicycles in their mental concept of "traffic." Loud shouts of "head's up people" works really well for parting the iPod sea.

back in my day there were always clusters of peds walking around in the road at Farringdon st and that Blackfriars, we used to paint our faces with woad, swing a morning star around and scream a blood-curdling cry of war to strike terror into the hearts of the cowardly and evil.

Most of them moved..

sorry man, apparently some chilled out people here like to suggest that mentally ills are americans. i'm not sure why i should be offended though, but i guess we'll have to share the title. <sarcasm> oohhh and i'm so offended.. </sarcasm>

yeah, i came to that conclusion as well.. but i'm not the shouting type, so i better get those air horns or just play with them ;)

Share? This is not Sesame Street nor is it the Electric Company.

Come hang out at any of our fine forum weekly beer festivals and meet the fellow mentalists. Otherwise you are missing the point of the forum. We will break you and make you chilled out.

i fell asleep on the couch at 12:30 last night after wests....
I fucking missed the match I had left early to watch.
Woke up on the sofa at like 4, and put myself to bed.
working from home win!

millhouse, is this on the right thread or are you drunk posting randomly?

random....
I might have had a point I was trying to make.....

hold on.....


Aw yep.
Was chatting to Arrrgghhosejhshhehwearahrhhafghhhh last night about americaland, and explained the reason I wasn't getting drunk/ staying late was cos of the football.
then joemontana posted and it rekindled my memory of american football. and I was going to ask for his shirt.
Then I failed to post any of this and posted a rambling story which might have been better left in the wests thread.

Repped.

c'mon, where's your communist side? life is for sharing, t-mobile would say :P

wanna share some ped targets? O.o

borough high st turning right towards tooley st. right arrow turned green so i went. i was with two other cyclists. it was amber at the ped xing. was going to go for it but couldnt cos peds started to fill up the xing. inconsiderate fcks.

anyway. green man for peds. cyclist one makes a run for it when he found a gap. cyclist two tried to go through when ped arsehole cried out "green man" then pushes cyclist two. the little lady cyclist gets off and rams her bike onto pushing ped arsehole. last thing i witnessed was a shoving match on the station side of the xing. few people were helping out incl a couple of cyclists at the lights waiting to turn right onto london br.

it actually annoys me when cyclists go through a crowded xing like that one, but fck, there is no need get all physical!

Hehehe, I lived there most of my life and it would take a very large sum of money before I even considered commuting by bike.

^^ I have the "this is Paris" edition of that book. Fantasic 60's style illustrations, great book.