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Old 24th November 2009   #101
joemontana
 
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yeah, noisy brakes are cool, but works better at higher speeds mainly
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Old 24th November 2009   #102
cliveodonor
 
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Originally Posted by wvm View Post
Still not working, is it..........
It depends what you are looking for in a woman.
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Old 24th November 2009   #103
not4saledonor
 
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Originally Posted by dancing james View Post
i had perfect revenge on a ped today

he was walking through stationary cars and then jumps out in front of me - i had noticed him filtering and filled my lungs

just as he walked out into my side of the road I screamed "oi!"

he jumped backwards into the cars just as they started moving, he was not hit, but it scared the fucking crap out of him
If there is a Station entrance/exit - bus stop / Concorde passing over then pedestrians are going to do something unpredictable . I was filtering through two lanes of traffic (Jamaica Rd) yesterday evening 'rush hour' near Bermondsey Tube Station and a woman on mobilephone walked out in front of me but I was moving slow enough to shout "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS ? EH ? and some muttered 'shit' . No one/nothing was hit.
When there are loads of pedestrians about ride as if you were on the pavement .
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Old 24th November 2009   #104
Pifkodonor
 
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Tried riding though Asda to get some milk earlier. Fucking jaywalking numpty cunts everywhere. Had to dismount at the dairy aisle as they were all gawping at the reduced section and I couldn't pass.
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Old 24th November 2009   #105
BringMeMyFix
 
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I took a short-cut, riding through a local church on Sunday morning. Fucking priest gave me a filthy look as I skidded past the altar. I shouted, "Jesus Christ, way to make a man feel persecuted," right into his sanctimonious face, and then deliberately crashed into his pulpit and said, "here endeth the road safety lesson, you stupid fucking holy ped twat."

People seem to have lost all sense out there.
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Old 24th November 2009   #106
andy.wdonor
 
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Originally Posted by BringMeMyFix View Post
I took a short-cut, riding through a local church on Sunday morning. Fucking priest gave me a filthy look as I skidded past the altar. I shouted, "Jesus Christ, way to make a man feel persecuted," right into his sanctimonious face, and then deliberately crashed into his pulpit and said, "here endeth the road safety lesson, you stupid fucking holy ped twat."

People seem to have lost all sense out there.
What was the denomination of said building?
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Old 24th November 2009   #107
BringMeMyFix
 
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I had Catholic in mind, but being ignorant of most thing religious, I've probably described some kind of hybrid establishment. God's in the detail, eh :/
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Old 24th November 2009   #108
Platinidonor
 
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Originally Posted by edscoble View Post
it's still better than a car-dominated city, like Lima in Peru.
Oh, that Lima...
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Old 24th November 2009   #109
andy.wdonor
 
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Running totals.

Just making sure one religion is not being singled out more than any other.

Who or what was the priest fucking? Prosecution is in the detail.
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Old 24th November 2009   #110
Platinidonor
 
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Originally Posted by andy.w View Post
Who or what was the priest fucking?
I could take a (secularly) educated guess...
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Old 24th November 2009   #111
BringMeMyFix
 
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The priest was fucking rad to the power of sick.
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Old 24th November 2009   #112
Platinidonor
 
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Originally Posted by BringMeMyFix View Post
The priest was fucking rad to the power of sick.
You seem to be as 'down with the kids' as I had thought that he was...
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Old 24th November 2009   #113
andy.wdonor
 
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I once puked on the altar during midnight mass. (Catholic). It was about a foot away from a representation of the baby jeebus.

I almost puked on gods cock. Now thats rad to the power of something.
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Old 24th November 2009   #114
Platinidonor
 
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Originally Posted by andy.w View Post
midnight mass. (Catholic).
Oh, that midnight mass...
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Old 24th November 2009   #115
BringMeMyFix
 
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Don't Satanists have some kind of midnight mass affair?
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Old 24th November 2009   #116
andy.wdonor
 
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Don't know, should we infiltrate or just UTFG.
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Old 24th November 2009   #117
andy.wdonor
 
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Originally Posted by Platini View Post
Oh, that midnight mass...
I believe the orange ones have it aswell, although I am forbidden from speaking to them so can not confirm.
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Old 24th November 2009   #118
Platinidonor
 
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Originally Posted by andy.w View Post
I believe the orange ones have it aswell, although I am forbidden from speaking to them so can not confirm.
That would be an ecumenical matter...
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Old 24th November 2009   #119
Tea_Bee
 
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I always shout "OI..!!!!" at the top of my lungs at crowds of peds.

I've never hit one yet. But as Reeen points out, that's cos I'm too fucking slow.

ETA: Mind you, screw the speed - I'll have momentum on my side, that day I do hit one at full pelt.
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Old 24th November 2009   #120
Tea_Bee
 
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Originally Posted by not4sale View Post
Badly toed-in brakes* = frightful noise - makes pedestrians do the funny dance
The old bike that's just getting a lick of paint and some new 700C wheels is about to get fitted with the air-horn. That'll make the fuckers do the funny dance - ten feet in the air.

Schweeeet... ;-)
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Old 25th November 2009   #122
Tea_Bee
 
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BANG ON, DOOD..!!! He he he

Seemed cheesy when I first got it. But I have to say... It gets results.
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Old 25th November 2009   #123
scoober
that's a penis pump right?

I'm glad its working out for you.
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Old 25th November 2009   #124
TheBrick(Tommy)
 
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Originally Posted by scoober View Post
that's a penis pump right?

I'm glad its working out for you.
The would give one curly cock.
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Old 25th November 2009   #125
TheBrick(Tommy)
 
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Originally Posted by TheBrick(Tommy) View Post
The would give one curly cock.
so i've heard..
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Old 25th November 2009   #126
TheBrick(Tommy)
 
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Originally Posted by Platini View Post
That would be an ecumenical matter...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...9421338733335#
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Old 25th November 2009   #127
Tea_Bee
 
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Originally Posted by TheBrick(Tommy) View Post
The would give one curly cock.
I'm trying to turn it into a pig's cock.

It's the twenty minute long orgasms I strive for...
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Old 27th November 2009   #128
joemontana
 
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so today i had the chance to knock some pedestrians off once again. green light, peds crossing, cyclist coming, they ignore it, i chose a target and you know where this is going.

but according to other forum members, as i'm the wrongful mentally ill american tool, i decided to play their game. instead of trying to slalom around them, i slowed down to as much as humanly possible, slower than a circus monkey with a pulled muscle and no tires, and rode into the gap among them. i was so slow that they had obviously to stop and wait -- what in my opinion they should've done in first place.

results: lots of funny confused faces, no swearing/insults exchanged, no honking, and most importantly, no risk to anyone. if some stupid ipod watcher had decided to walk without looking, they'd have a large piece of metal to bump on, so i am happy.

appropriate? 99.9% not. pleasant? 110%.
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Old 27th November 2009   #129
andy.wdonor
 
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You could have stopped!
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Old 27th November 2009   #130
joemontana
 
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i know :)
i just wanted some silly revenge and to piss them off a little.
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Old 27th November 2009   #131
Aroogahdonor
 
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Originally Posted by joemontana View Post
so today i had the chance to knock some pedestrians off once again. green light, peds crossing, cyclist coming, they ignore it, i chose a target and you know where this is going.

but according to other forum members, as i'm the wrongful mentally ill american tool, i decided to play their game. instead of trying to slalom around them, i slowed down to as much as humanly possible, slower than a circus monkey with a pulled muscle and no tires, and rode into the gap among them. i was so slow that they had obviously to stop and wait -- what in my opinion they should've done in first place.

results: lots of funny confused faces, no swearing/insults exchanged, no honking, and most importantly, no risk to anyone. if some stupid ipod watcher had decided to walk without looking, they'd have a large piece of metal to bump on, so i am happy.

appropriate? 99.9% not. pleasant? 110%.
I am the mentally ill american tool on this forum so I'm afraid that you'll have to go reinvent your forum persona. That one is taken.

Peds don't include bicycles in their mental concept of "traffic." Loud shouts of "head's up people" works really well for parting the iPod sea.
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Old 27th November 2009   #132
RPM
back in my day there were always clusters of peds walking around in the road at Farringdon st and that Blackfriars, we used to paint our faces with woad, swing a morning star around and scream a blood-curdling cry of war to strike terror into the hearts of the cowardly and evil.

Most of them moved..
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Old 27th November 2009   #133
joemontana
 
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Originally Posted by Aroogah View Post
I am the mentally ill american tool on this forum so I'm afraid that you'll have to go reinvent your forum persona. That one is taken.
sorry man, apparently some chilled out people here like to suggest that mentally ills are americans. i'm not sure why i should be offended though, but i guess we'll have to share the title. <sarcasm> oohhh and i'm so offended.. </sarcasm>

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aroogah View Post
Peds don't include bicycles in their mental concept of "traffic." Loud shouts of "head's up people" works really well for parting the iPod sea.
yeah, i came to that conclusion as well.. but i'm not the shouting type, so i better get those air horns or just play with them ;)
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Old 27th November 2009   #134
Aroogahdonor
 
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Originally Posted by joemontana View Post
sorry man, apparently some chilled out people here like to suggest that mentally ills are americans. i'm not sure why i should be offended though, but i guess we'll have to share the title. <sarcasm> oohhh and i'm so offended.. </sarcasm>
Share? This is not Sesame Street nor is it the Electric Company.

Come hang out at any of our fine forum weekly beer festivals and meet the fellow mentalists. Otherwise you are missing the point of the forum. We will break you and make you chilled out.
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Old 27th November 2009   #135
eyebrows
i fell asleep on the couch at 12:30 last night after wests....
I fucking missed the match I had left early to watch.
Woke up on the sofa at like 4, and put myself to bed.
working from home win!
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Old 27th November 2009   #136
dancing james
 
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millhouse, is this on the right thread or are you drunk posting randomly?
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Old 27th November 2009   #137
eyebrows
random....
I might have had a point I was trying to make.....

hold on.....


Aw yep.
Was chatting to Arrrgghhosejhshhehwearahrhhafghhhh last night about americaland, and explained the reason I wasn't getting drunk/ staying late was cos of the football.
then joemontana posted and it rekindled my memory of american football. and I was going to ask for his shirt.
Then I failed to post any of this and posted a rambling story which might have been better left in the wests thread.
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Old 27th November 2009   #138
Aroogahdonor
 
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Originally Posted by eyebrows View Post
random....
I might have had a point I was trying to make.....

hold on.....


Aw yep.
Was chatting to Arrrgghhosejhshhehwearahrhhafghhhh last night about americaland, and explained the reason I wasn't getting drunk/ staying late was cos of the football.
then joemontana posted and it rekindled my memory of american football. and I was going to ask for his shirt.
Then I failed to post any of this and posted a rambling story which might have been better left in the wests thread.
Repped.
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Old 27th November 2009   #139
joemontana
 
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Originally Posted by Aroogah View Post
Share? This is not Sesame Street nor is it the Electric Company.
c'mon, where's your communist side? life is for sharing, t-mobile would say :P

wanna share some ped targets? O.o
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Old 7th December 2009   #140
fatboyralph
 
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borough high st turning right towards tooley st. right arrow turned green so i went. i was with two other cyclists. it was amber at the ped xing. was going to go for it but couldnt cos peds started to fill up the xing. inconsiderate fcks.

anyway. green man for peds. cyclist one makes a run for it when he found a gap. cyclist two tried to go through when ped arsehole cried out "green man" then pushes cyclist two. the little lady cyclist gets off and rams her bike onto pushing ped arsehole. last thing i witnessed was a shoving match on the station side of the xing. few people were helping out incl a couple of cyclists at the lights waiting to turn right onto london br.

it actually annoys me when cyclists go through a crowded xing like that one, but fck, there is no need get all physical!
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Old 7th December 2009   #142
izgard
 
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Originally Posted by edscoble View Post
it's still better than a car-dominated city, like Lima in Peru.
Hehehe, I lived there most of my life and it would take a very large sum of money before I even considered commuting by bike.
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Old 7th December 2009   #143
EEIdonor
 
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Old 7th December 2009   #144
DFP
 
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^^ I have the "this is Paris" edition of that book. Fantasic 60's style illustrations, great book.
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