 3rd July 2009 | #352 | |
 | Quote:
| |
| quote reply |
| 5th July 2009 | #353 |
 | I have to +1 everyone, corny especially, with the "Your living your life not his" sentiment. I've been the Boyfriend in this situation, and I was a bitter ex for a long time before I realised what was going on. I too would rather have been with her than no one at all, even though it was abusive for both of us. I have learnt so much from the whole ordeal, the biggest being, I should have let her leave me when she wanted to. Dragging it out was miserable for both of us, and did both of us mental harm. Serously, it's natural you're going to feel hurt or loss. He will be your best and closest friend of many years and you are losing that too. But, it's better for both of you if you just let it go. |
| quote reply |
| 5th July 2009 | #354 |
| | Yeah, I have have spoken to him multiple times today and yesterday and I think the message is sinking in. At first the suggested things like "We can make things work by seeing each other less" and he said he'd pay for counseling. He will be moving out soon (was planning to anyway). He's obviously unhappy but seems to cope better once the initial shock is over. |
| quote reply |
| 5th July 2009 | #355 |
| | Hey, been following your post & really feel for you. Stay strong & calm & choose your words carefully, communication is really key to salvaging a friendship with someone you obviously care for so much as you have pushed your own emotional wellbeing aside to facilitate his bubble. I find your actions admirable but as all the others say you are doing nobodies any favours in the long run, its all an emotional learning curve & you are taking the higher ground by being open heartedly honest. It will feel shit for a bit & you have been feeling crap for a while now, but the good news is there are sunnier days ahead! from reading between the lines of the first message you knew what you had to do, you just needed affirmation that it was right, I hope this gives you further suport in knowing that your actions only reflect well on you, I hope your partner comes round to seeing it this way in time, but for now, you are not lying to yourself or him & that makes you just about as good as you can get. |
| quote reply |
| 6th July 2009 | #356 |
 | I think you're playing it well red cross. No matter how certain you are about your feelings before you voice them, it doesn't prepare you for how you'll feel once they've been voiced. It's totally natural to feel remorse, regret, etc. Don't feel tempted to cow to these feelings without due thought, because that is a potentially destructive path to take for both you and your ex. On a lighter note, I know your pain. I had almost as hard a time when I told my dearest flatmate turd furgurson that I wasn't gonna be living with him after our tenancy finished! :) |
| quote reply |
| 6th July 2009 | #358 |
 | red cross the sooner you break it off the better, there is no point in cheating either of you out of time, especially when you are young. you will both feel like shit then bury your feelings in drugs, booze, bad choices, and dumb girls, then you will start to like being single, meet some one, enter a relationship, they will drive you to hell, and its back to booze, bad choices, and dumb girls. I think in the end you emerge from it all as a better person, who can "function socially" and feels "real emotions" this is called "growing up". but what do i know, i really like dumb girls and bad choices. |
| quote reply |
| 7th July 2009 | #359 |
| | Well, after a few days I feel much better. It's like taking a weight off my shoulders. I really pushed myself hard in the gym yesterday and even raced some cars on the way home. In the last few weeks I could hardy exercise anymore. I know it's corny, but this thread has help me through it when I was wavering. Thanks! |
| quote reply |
| 19th July 2009 | #360 |
 | So three months later - I am still feeling the pain - particularly since I found out that she ran off with the school cook - that smarted let me tell you - as did the string of friendly e-mails which once I found out about the blasted cook read like a list of their first dates all leading up to that weekend away together - <ouch> - good things have happened too - I found out who my friends were - I have made new friends - infact I have made some very cool new friends - I am getting more spiritually aware and more present in my life - best of all I am reunited with my family that I had spent years pushing away - I can't see me getting a new girl anytime soon though - emotionally I am still all over the place ...buddha |
| quote reply |
| 19th July 2009 | #362 |
 | I was once told a good rule of thumb: "it takes about half the time half the time you were with someone to get over them". I think it works pretty well, though it obviously it depends what your personal definition is of "get over". Another sound cliché is that "success is the best form of revenge". Revenge is a bit strong, but taking your mind off things by doing new stuff and meeting new people never hurts, however good-natured the break-up. Then you'll feel that you made the experience a useful and positive one. Glad to hear that things are going well on other fronts Buddha; the emails are one of those things that fucking sting in retrospect, but one day you'll look back on them and think of how petty / sordid they made the situation. Rise above! :) |
| quote reply |
| 19th July 2009 | #363 | |
 | Quote:
| |
| quote reply |
| 20th July 2009 | #366 | |
 | Quote:
| |
| quote reply |
| 20th July 2009 | #373 | |
 | Quote:
| |
| quote reply |
| 20th July 2009 | #376 | |
 | Quote:
No? As you were, then. | |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #383 |
 | Well she's still in Slovakia but I spoke to her properly for the first time in a while today. There was he usual chit chat but then we spoke about 'us'. Both decided that it was best to call it a day (pretty much how I have felt for the past few weeks), it was always how this story was going to end but now it's officially over, no loose ends. I was expecting this and knew it was coming but now that it actually has a feel a strange sense of hollowness and just a bit odd in general. I'm sad that this is it but I'm also happy that it is over and we are on good terms and that one day once all the feelings have gone I know I will have an amazing friend. We agreed that we had had the most amazing two years of our lives so far and that we will both leave with lots of happy memories but that this is the end of that chapter, so bring on the next part of my life. Sorry to spew all these teenage love problems out to you all but thank you for all the advice/words of wisedom/crap that you all gave me. |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #389 | |
| | Quote:
Sometimes it is easier to let go, part on good times and remember the awesome memories. I've been there with an 4year ex. We're just friends now. And though he drives me mad sometimes, I still wouldn't want him out of my life. Pretty sure right now you're feeling "what shall I do now?", or something, then you'll feel liberated and content. Either that or I'm talking a lot of crap Best wishes and *hugs* | |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #391 | |
| | Quote:
Mooks buddy, you seem to be doing well and keeping positive, its good to see. I'm glad me and ex are really good friends but it did take one of us getting thrown out of the country. | |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #392 |
| | +1 to your post Balki This song makes a lot of sense to me and I'm going to try my damndest to act upon it. Andrew Jackson Jihad - Song for Tomorrow I will not sing another song for the dead because the dead, they are not listening. from now on all the songs that i sing will be songs sung for the living. i will not sing about my heartbreaks. it's better to sing about your heart aches. i will not sing about what i once had but i'll sing about what i long to have because the future holds a chance and you can never catch up to your past. you've got to look it right in the eye and say goodbye. i will not waste another minute of my time trying to raise the dead. i will not waste a second of my life 'cause when some things are broken they can never be fixed. so i say goodbye because i'll never go back in time. so i say good bye |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #393 |
 | Diana Ross 'Remember Me' Bye baby, see you around Didn't I tell you I wouldn't hold you down Take good care of yourself, y'hear Don't let me hear about you shedding a tear You're gonna make it You're gonna take it Remember me as a sunny day That you once had, along the way Didn't I inspire you a little higher Remember me as a funny clown That made you laugh when you were down Didn't I boy, didn't I boy Remember me as a big balloon At a carnaval that ended too soon Remember me as a breath of spring Remember me as a good thing Bye baby, see you around I already know about the new love you've found What can I do but wish you well What we had was really swell I won't forget it, I have no regrets Remember me as a sound of laughter And my face the morning after Didn't the sky beckon us to fly? Yes, you'l remember the times we fought But don't forget me in your tender thoughts Please darlin' oh yeah Remember me when you drink the wine Of sweet success and I gave you my best Remember me with every song you sing Remember me as a good thing Remember me as a sunny day Please darling, remember me as a good thing Remember me when you drink the wine Remember me as a good thing Remember me as a big balloon Don't forget me darling |
| quote reply |
| 21st August 2009 | #399 | |
| | Quote:
| |
| quote reply |
