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Old 22nd November 2013   #1
Scootdonor
 
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Awkward Moments

Awkward moments. We've all had them. Through horribly cringeworthy at the time, in retrospect they are usually pretty funny, so here is a place to share and take joy in the absurdity of everyday modern life.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #2
Scootdonor
 
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I'll start...had a slightly awkward moment earlier when a lady came to test ride my road bike and as we were standing in my yard looking at it a tiny mouse appeared from somewhere, nipped between the wheels and disappeared into a crack in the wall. Totally ruined my sales patter.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #3
robotodonor
 
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Subscribed...
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Old 22nd November 2013   #4
snottyotterdonor
 
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I once fell asleep when engaged in a very drunken number based sex act once I was done but before she was.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #5
sorethroatdonor
 
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When I started a thread for people to post posts that they thought deserved rep, but hadn't received any.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #6
Oliver Schick
 
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I just had an awkward moment trying to think of any awkward moments, which I never have.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #7
Dammitdonor
 
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I predict that some people will be unable to stop themselves from bragging in this thread.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #8
Earthloopdonor
On a forum ride, a small group of people were gathered around my bike in silence as they tried to think of something nice to say about it.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #9
sorethroatdonor
 
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hahaha
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Old 22nd November 2013   #10
Constable Savagedonor
 
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Not actually an awkward moment per se. Once upon a time around lunchtime I queued up in the Post Office for a tax disc for my bike. When I got to the cashier's window I passed the paperwork through and vaguely heard the cashier say "What about that stuff in America?". I was really not interested in talking so I glibly replied "Well that's Americans for you". I took my tax disc from the quizzical looking cashier and went home. I turned the TV on to watch whilst I had my lunch and .......Oh. The date was 11th of September 2001.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #11
Backsplashdonor
At a mates wedding, just outside Basingstoke, I was smearing butter on my testicles at the sandwich bar in the hotels kitchen sometime in the early hours of the morning when the manager and two other staff came in.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #12
Constable Savagedonor
 
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Room service?
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Old 22nd November 2013   #13
Scootdonor
 
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^^^ A tax disc for your bike? Is that a thing?
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Old 22nd November 2013   #14
snottyotterdonor
 
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Bloody cyclists, paying road tax. Or in this case, probably motorcyclists.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #15
snottyotterdonor
 
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Old 22nd November 2013   #16
greenhelldonor
 
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i used to work in a 5 star hotel in darkest surrey, one day i caught the early shift breakfast chef plums deep in an entire side of scottish smoked salmon.

trustory.

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Old 22nd November 2013   #17
bmx_freddonor
 
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as a child I decided to cut my own hair one evening, styling it on a picture of Michael Owen from that week's issue of Match magazine. Unfortunately I was too young to realise he had a receding hair line, so just cut myself a Draculaesque v shape with nail scissors.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #18
robotodonor
 
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Is this going to become the 'plums deep' thread?
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Old 22nd November 2013   #19
Dammitdonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dammit View Post
I predict that some people will be unable to stop themselves from bragging in this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by roboto View Post
Is this going to become the 'plums deep' thread?
.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #20
robotodonor
 
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When I was staying with my brother in-law in Tokyo earlier this year I walked into the living room to see him tommy tankin' to some freaky anime. I didn't get the title of the film, but I'm sure it would've involved some animated balls deep action at some point.
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Old 22nd November 2013   #21
TW2donor
 
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Do tentacle monsters have balls?
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Old 22nd November 2013   #22
Dammitdonor
 
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Huge ones!
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Old 22nd November 2013   #23
robotodonor
 
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Probably. How else would it be expected to perform in an epic bukkake scene?
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Old 22nd November 2013   #24
Miss Mousedonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sorethroat View Post
When I started a thread for people to post posts that they thought deserved rep, but hadn't received any.
*Cringe*
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Old 23rd November 2013   #25
General Luciferdonor
 
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I once had a one night stand with a mad bint who had actually changed her name by deed pole to W Axl Rose.

In the morning we were at it again, her on top, when her house mate blundered in with a cup of tea for her.
The housemate looked over, saw everything, went, 'OH!', which caused W Axl Rose to pound down hard on my cock and bollocks and give the most immense fanny fart I've ever heard.

There was a long, weird silence, then the girl backed out of the room with both mugs of tea.


Awkward.
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Old 23rd November 2013   #26
Scootdonor
 
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^ What I find the worst about that post is that you didn't get the cup of tea
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Old 23rd November 2013   #27
Scootdonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snottyotter View Post



Yo dawg, I heard you liked awkward moments so I put an awkward moment in your awkward moments thread
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Old 26th November 2013   #28
hatsdonor
 
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Yesterday in my dance class I caught someone sniffing my hair.
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Old 26th November 2013   #29
Souldonor
 
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!

How did they react to being caught?
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Old 26th November 2013   #30
lanerdonor
 
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TW2 was just being friendly
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Old 26th November 2013   #31
Mr Sworlddonor
 
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I hope it was the hair on your head...
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Old 26th November 2013   #32
TSdonor
 
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Too far...
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Old 26th November 2013   #33
Eightballdonor
 
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was on a survey vessel a couple of months back

one of the clients (Canadian guy) wanted his laptop put on the company network. I said 'no can do' but I could get him hooked into corporate wireless. Went up to see him and he booted his laptop up - it went straight onto a full size JPEG of a young naked girl doing bad things to a naked fella's wanger.

"Don't know how that got there" he mumbled, before minimising it....only to show another photo, this time of several naked girls in the back of a limo, all getting about each other

"Just another day in my car" he said
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Old 26th November 2013   #34
_dan_donor
 
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ooh dance class... awkward

^ ha, kind of have to rate him for the second comment
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Old 26th November 2013   #35
_dan_donor
 
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Have several times sent the "xxxx is really getting on my tits / is a massive twat" text to xxxx instead of the intended recipient.
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Old 26th November 2013   #36
andypdonor
 
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I was in a book shop in the airport with my colleague a few weeks back looking for a present for my eldest, spotted a "My first Bible", picked it up and said, jokingly, I could get this. He replied, "My daughter has one".
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Old 26th November 2013   #37
Pifkodonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eightball View Post
"Just another day in my car" he said
Haha!!
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Old 26th November 2013   #38
hatsdonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul View Post
!

How did they react to being caught?
He was quite brazen about it, he didn't think it was weird at all. Though this is the guy who once asked me if he could be filmed dancing with me so he could show the video to his girlfriend.
Quote:
Originally Posted by laner View Post
TW2 was just being friendly
The hair-sniffer actually has a bit of a thing for TW2 - they have matching trainers now <3
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Old 26th November 2013   #39
TW2donor
 
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Besties4lyf
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Old 26th November 2013   #40
snottyotterdonor
 
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I once ate my starter with the fork meant for my main, if only the floor would've swallowed me up.
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Old 26th November 2013   #41
snottyotterdonor
 
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Your hair does look like it smells nice, must be the dry shampoo.
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Old 26th November 2013   #42
Souldonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hats View Post
He was quite brazen about it, he didn't think it was weird at all. Though this is the guy who once asked me if he could be filmed dancing with me so he could show the video to his girlfriend.
Wow. Seems like a balanced person. Definitely a good choice for a dance partner.
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Old 26th November 2013   #43
Señor Beardonor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snottyotter View Post
Your hair does look like it smells nice.
Awkward as fuck
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Old 26th November 2013   #44
Wen Jian
 
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I was at a party once, and my girlfriend was sat at a table chatting with other people. I went over and stood behind her, started playing with her hair, and looked across the table to see...my girlfriend, looking at me in a not-very-amused way.

They both had almost identical hair in both colour and style, and both had the same name. So slightly more explicable.
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Old 26th November 2013   #45
snottyotterdonor
 
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Your fiancée is your sister and your cousin? That must be awkward.
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Old 27th November 2013   #46
dakindonor
 
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Subscribess.
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Old 27th November 2013   #47
dancing james
 
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Discovering Miss Mouse was good friends with Danni Foffa and had joined lfgss to defend his bikes.
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Old 27th November 2013   #48
TW2donor
 
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Give it a rest - You know that is nothing but inflamatory.
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Old 27th November 2013   #49
TW2donor
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wen Jian View Post
I was at a party once, and my girlfriend was sat at a table chatting with other people. I went over and stood behind her, started playing with her hair, and looked across the table to see...my girlfriend, looking at me in a not-very-amused way.

They both had almost identical hair in both colour and style, and both had the same name. So slightly more explicable.
I was fondling my wife's arse while we were dancing in a club.

Then I look up and see my wife standing on my other side, wondering why I'm fondlng some random.
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Old 27th November 2013   #50
HatBearddonor
 
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during my brief stint at college in the mid 90s before I dropped out and got a real job I had just bought the latest must-have tech gadget for those who couldn't afford a proper mobile phone + contract. a pager (cringe 1).

during my business studies class the teacher was banging on about some kind of trends in technology or something and began talking about pagers, so I went ahh and proudly held mine aloft (cringe 2).

the teacher then said ahh do you have a pager? to which I sarcastically said "no it's a tamagotchi" sadly having only been at college for a couple of weeks he didn't yet know I was a sarcastic bastard so he took it at face value and went "oh, ok" and carried on talking. leaving the whole class of my peers with whom I was still trying to ingratiate myself thinking that as a 16 year old I liked to play with tamagotchis (possibly the one worse thing than thinking I owned a pager).

I still feel a physical twinge in my gut when I think about it. it may be the actual reason I stopped going to college.
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