I've not really read previous pages of this thread to see if it's already been covered but on the subject of enforcing relaxation on yourself I've found hypnotherapy to help massively.
Bit of back story for people who don't know me. I have a tendency to over think everything be it something I'm about to do or an unpleasant memory. I've sometimes found myself saying things like 'no' and 'stop' out loud when I'm by myself as if the intelligent part of the brain is fighting the other instinctive part for control. I'd find myself physically tense 90% of the time which resulted in my whole body aching, especially my jaw. As you can imagine I can pass of as a standard calm person but inside I was falling apart. Since beginning hypnotherapy I've been able to relax more and if I notice I'm at the beginning of a downward spiral I can push it aside without having to change what I'm doing so that it distracts me away from the internal monologue.
I started hypnotherapy having known nothing about it, I'd not even been recommended it by anyone else saying that it might help. I've since taken quite an interest as it does appear to work. Often people imagine it to be like the crap you see on TV, it isn't. It's attempting to influence the subconscious. Your moral boundaries will stop you from doing anything you don't want to. Ok, so it does fit some stereotypes but there's a reason why there are stereotypes. Comfy couch, low lighting, pan pipe music and a softly spoken therapist. Everyone has at many points in their life been in the trance state that the therapist is attempting to induce, e.g. - watching TV and someone is unable to get your attention as if you can't hear that person. When the mind is in the trance state the same are of the brain is active as when you reach the REM period of your sleep. During this period you process recent events. If, like many people suffering depression, you have very little or quite disturbed sleep you aren't going to be able to process previous evens properly and new things will have nowhere to go. Instead of going into the bank to be processed later they're there at the forefront of your mind going over and over.
Since starting the therapy my mood had improved. People I've met just a couple of times have noticed the difference in me. It's getting to a point now that I can start inducing a trance state on myself which is pretty much the same as meditation.